It’s hard isn’t it – giving up your career. You can’t help but feel a little bit of failure; and although you know that you shouldn’t be feeling this way, the fears of failing still creep their way through the crevices. We live in a society where, for generations, your worth and value reflect your career, and how sad is that.
We are constantly asking children throughout their childhood, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”. We are asking seventeen-year-olds, “what are you going to do with your life”, when they have yet discovered themselves or their passions. Instead of asking children what they want to be when they grow up, instead - we should be asking what their passions are, and helping them to explore those passions.
When I was a child, I wanted to be a vet;
I’ve always loved and cared deeply for animals, I’ve always had a kind heart and wanted to help those in need. I’ll always have a soft spot for animals.
When I was a teenager, I found my passion in science, I wanted to be a forensic pathologist;
I found interest in the human anatomy, in chemistry and excelled all my science classes – I was fascinated and respectful, in the beauty of death, and I had the strength for it. Still, I wanted to help people find peace. Today, I remain a huge science lover in my passions.
When I left school, it was overwhelming, there you stand, not yet an adult, but now you have the responsibility of making your own money and working towards your career. I took a year off and worked to save money.
I followed my interest in becoming a forensic pathologist, putting myself out there and finding ways to begin my career and studying, although I found it almost impossible to balance whilst working full-time. I lost motivation and that career path quickly faded.
When I was eighteen, I found a new interest in funeral work, I wanted to be a funeral director;
I’ve seen a lot of grief and death in my life, I’ve always had a strong heart for it, and I found a passion in being the person who is just that – strength, and a gentle shoulder for those in grieving. I was turned away with my young age, and fate took me on a new path.
Twenty-one-years-old, still working in a full-time job, I married the love of my life and we decided we wanted to start a family;
It was a big decision, to start a family or get a career. Because, “How will I raise a child, if I don’t have a career to go back to after she is born?”, the thought lingered in my mind for years to come.
Twenty-two-years-old, here is where I become my most vulnerable and my strongest... I welcome our beautiful daughter into the world, I am a mother;
nothing else matters in that moment, I now have the responsibility and gift to raise my daughter.
Even still, the pressures of society expect you to have career and work towards that goal – because now, you have all the time in the world being a stay-at-home-mother…right? How can someone be, 'just a mother'.
I continued to have an open-mind, but I felt I was running out of time. Maybe I could part-time study to become a vet, to make my child-self proud?
I found a passion in teaching and convinced myself that’s what I want to do. I wanted to become a teacher;
My heart remains gentle, and now that I am raising my own child, maybe, just maybe, I could offer my gentle approach to young children and cradle them too. It seems fitting in society, a mother becoming a teacher. Though after a year I took a new path.
Twenty-five-years-old, the years have been a roller-coaster of emotions, a challenging and beautiful journey, my hardest one yet. I found a new passion in psychology, I wanted to become a child psychologist;
I aspire to help children, to protect them, to make them feel safe and heard.
Later, I came to realize that pursuing this career-path was to help myself too, to see what needed to be seen, hear what needed to be heard, heal what needed to heal, to learn, and grow. I wouldn’t be where I am today, without going through these changes and trusting each turn, I believe life always has a purpose. I absolutely, needed to go through those challenges, to grow into the person I am today, and I stand proud.
And I still do, aspire to help children, but I trust I will find the right answer in the future. As my journey takes a new turn, I have recently put my studies on hold, so I can be there whole-heartedly for my daughter in these early years. There was never a career to 'give-up' in the first place, it was always, finding the right path. And I have a job to do, this is my career, this is my purpose right now; to raise my daughter and be the best mother I can be. To use my strength to guide her, and embrace in these small, beautiful moments that I am lucky to hold. She needs me and I need her; and dammit that should be valued worthy. I realise that everyone will have different experiences; I am grateful that this is mine.
Life is short, and I guess I wanted to share my experience and let you know that it is okay to feel this way. To feel lost and confused, to feel overwhelmed, to feel like you don’t have it all together; I am far from having it all together, but I am learning. I want to remind you, to take a deep breath and trust the process. I want to remind you, to follow your passions, no matter how many you may have, because it’s okay to have more than one passion – take a chance and just try them.
Don’t be afraid to feel and admit that something wasn’t right for you.
Learn to let go.
You can’t hold onto everything, it will send you 10 feet into the ground.
I still have passions, and I look forward to what the future brings. Right now, my passions are to raise my daughter, to play music again, to write, to love, to explore, to read more, to heal, to feel healthy both physically and mentally, to live.
Only you, can choose what path you wish to take. Only you can make what you wish to happen, happen, but your heart needs to be there 100%, and if it isn’t, then that is okay. I'm not one to share a lot, I'm rather guarded, but I do have a passion in writing - maybe I am at a point where it feels okay to share. This is where my passion of helping shines through, helping others feel, not alone. Don't let the fear of failure take over.
If life is telling you to take a different path, then take the chance. Maybe instead of following the river to the waterfall, we need to take the time to explore all the beautiful, streams that part from it too.
Because how can we predict what our future is going to look like – we can’t really, not absolutely.
You have come so far already, be proud of yourself for once. Em (@littlewrens_treehouse).